The Fuck-Drunk Chronicles

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I have never ended a relationship with a lover.  Sometimes things have fizzled out and messages are spaced further and further apart, going from hourly to daily to weekly before tailing off completely.  I have been unceremoniously dumped several times, ire warring with heartache to varying degrees.  When R (a fuck buddy of several years standing) announced that either we move in and have children or we end things I chose the latter option by default, because I certainly wasn’t going to have children.  Things between us limped along for a few weeks more, before he told me that his dealer’s sister was carrying his child so he wouldn’t be coming round again. I learned a lot from my years with R.  He was incredibly reliable, visiting every single Saturday and not leaving until I was a dehydrated, limp shell of a woman.  He was also extremely jealous and would attempt to play the sort of emotional games that are best suited to a primary school playground....